Wednesday, 28 June 2017

PUNS.

Be ready to cringe.
  • What is the sleepiest mountain? Mount Everest. 
  • A person was in an elevator. There was a burger in an elevator. The person told this to their friend, and the friend was like, "Taking lunch to the next level!
  • Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. 
  • The life of a coffee bean: 1. Still green at this. 2. Bean there, done that. 3. Has-bean. 
  • A person was chatting with their friend online while eating cheese. Talking to them, they said, 'This cheese is very cheesy,' and their friend said 'That pun was so cheesy!' 
  • Boss: 'How good are you at PowerPoint?' Me: 'I Excel at it.' Boss: 'Was that a Microsoft Office pun?' Me: 'Word.' 
  • I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something. 
  • You're living. You occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means? You matter!
  • The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 
  • Potterheads having a conversation: "My obsession with Harry Potter has gotten a bit riddikulus" "It's a serious problem" "There's nothing ron with that" "Keep up with these puns and you might be muggled" "Too bad cause we're neville gonna stop" 
  • The man entered his home and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house. 
  • I know this is cheesy, but I feel grate. 
  • You butter do what I say or I shall assault you. (salt)
  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down. 
  • Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? he was lucky it was a soft drink.  
  • It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. 
  • What does a house wear? A dress.
  • Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own? It was two tired. 
  • Wanna go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch. 
  • I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction. 
  • What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear. 
  • I break into song if I can't find the key. 
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done. 
  • I'd make a veggie joke, but no one would carrot all. 
  • If you spend your day in a well, can you say your day was well spent? 
  • I was going to tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH. <--- And that one's great for Mrs Wright, cause she's all-wright with science. (in honour of Mrs Wright, 09WGT) 
  •  Jokes about unemployed people are not funny, they just don't work. 
  • What do you call a laughing person who loves candy? Lol-lipop.
  • What happened when Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar? Well, it was tense. 
  • What's the difference between a cat and a comma? Cat: Claws at the end of paws. Comma: Pause at the end of a clause. 
  • Why do words, phrases, and punctuation keep ending up in court? Cause they have to be sentenced. 
  • Why did Shakespeare only write in pen? Because pencils confused him. 2B or not 2B? 

*WITH THANKS TO FRIENDS AND THE INTERNET*

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Healthy and easy after-school snacks



Blueberry Smoothie

Ingredients:

1 cup blueberries
1 banana
1/2 a cup of plain yoghurt
Oats/milk (optional)

1. Slice the banana into 1-2cm thick pieces.

2. Put everything in the blender. Oats add thickness and fill you up, whereas the milk makes it runnier.

3. Blend everything together until smooth. 

4. Pour into a glass and enjoy!



Avocado on toast

Ingredients:

Avocado
Salt
Pepper
Wholegrain bread (not white bread!)
Lemon juice
Tomatoes (Optional)

1. Toast a piece of wholegrain bread.

2. Lightly mash some avocado and spread onto toast.

3. Sprinkle with a little salt and pepper.

4. Squeeze lemon juice on top for a little zing.

5. You can also add tomatoes if you want something heartier. 



Topped rice thins

Ingredients:

Rice thins 
Dried cranberries
Shredded coconut
Peanut butter

1. Spread the rice thin/s with a layer of peanut butter.

2. Sprinkle the cranberries and coconut on top.

3. You can use any toppings you like, or whatever is left in your cupboard!




Quesadillas
Ingredients:


 2 wraps
Passata/tomato paste
Canned kidney beans or a can of tuna
Cheese

1. Spread one wrap with the passata or tomato sauce.

2. Top with beans or tuna.

3. Sprinkle with cheese.

4. Place the other wrap on top.

5. Heat up a pan on a medium heat and heat the quesadilla for about 30 seconds to a minute on either side.

6. Cut into quarters and enjoy!





Art Club- Under the Sea

Art Club

Under the Sea

Every week after school on a Monday, you can always see around fifteen MAGS junior students gathering in the E8 art class room to work on some spectacular pieces of art for the display room. It's a nice peaceful work environment with students sitting around the tables in groups casually working on the current project.

Being a year nine, Art Club was one of the first things I joined. The idea of relaxing for some time after school and doing something I like to do sounded inviting enough. At first I was slightly nervous, because it would be the first time I connected with other students outside of class and got to meet new people. However, my worries flew out the window as soon as I entered the classroom. Everyone was friendly, and the overall atmosphere was one that was pretty inviting. Trying new things is one of the best things you could possibly do at MAGS. You can get to know people as soon as possible, and make plenty of friends.

The art club's current project, to be put up in the display room, is themed around ocean creatures. Our team is divided into little groups to put together the big picture, a huge colourful collage of a sea of fish, octopi, and many more. The room is always full of colourful magazines and working students all gluing and shredding and talking. Slowly, bits and bits of coloured paper formed into radiant blue seahorses and bright orange lobsters. Work is still in progress as the students form their creations out of colourful scraps.

Many of the groups are well on track to finishing their artworks to put together on a sea of dark ocean for the final display, and all the students are loving the project. Once it's done, go to the display room and check out the beautiful collage!


By Grace Duan

Wednesday, 31 May 2017



Random facts you definitely haven't heard before! (probably)

  • Pteronophobia is the fear of being tickled by feathers
  • When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red
  • 29th May is official "Put a pillow on your fridge day"
  • In 2015, more people were killed from injuries related to selfie taking than shark attacks
  • Heart attacks are more likely to occur on a Monday
  • When you die your hair continues to grow for a couple of months
  • Stressed is desserts spelled backwards
  • On average there are 178 sesame seeds per McDonald's BigMac bun
  • Every year about 98% of the atoms in your body are replaced
  • The surface area of an average sized brick is 79 cm squared
  • In 2006, an Australian man tried to sell New Zealand on eBay. The price rose to $3000 before eBay shut it down
  • Nutella was invented in WWII, when an Italian pastry maker mixed hazelnuts into chocolate to extend his chocolate ration
  • The 50 star American flag was designed by an Ohio high school student for a class project. His teacher gave him a B-
  • When you say "11 seconds", it means 11 and a half days. "A billion seconds" would be over 31 years

Websites I used:
https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~bingbin/
https://www.thefactsite.com/2011/07/top-100-random-funny-facts.html
mentalfloss.com
http://www.short-funny.com/fun-facts.php

Chess Tournament

Last Wednesday MAGS sent three chess teams to a secondary-school chess tournament at Mt Roskill Grammar. There were 18 teams of 4 competing in total, along with a few reserves from each school.
The tournament lasted the whole day, with an Auckland Grammar team finishing in first. The MAGS teams came in 12, 14, and 16. Overall, it was a great experience, especially for the year nines for whom it was their first tournament. It was a very enjoyable day with some great games, and if you are keen to represent our school in chess, contact Mr Scoltock to find out more information.

Thursday, 25 May 2017

Manchester



This badge was shown to me when I was 8. 

A girl was visiting our unit from England. 
I remember not wanting to leave as she was so much fun even tho her uniform was brown. 

I returned to my Brownie unit to start my leadership journey, there I found the badge. 
Remembering the friendship I formed with the girl, my old brownie leader gave it to me. 
This badge sits on my leaders tab, so I never forget the girl from England. 

Today I took it off, to the 1st Tarleton brownie leaders; stand strong it's not your fault. 
I cannot fathom the amount of pain you are going through. 
To the brownies; I have no words. You're probably too young to understand what has happened. 
I hope you keep going to brownies, have fun and advocate to stop the violence. 
To the parents, I can only imagine your pain. 

As a lover of music, it should never bring pain or sadness. 
As a girl guide this makes me sad, this is the reality faced by girls every day. 

I wear this badge today for my little sister Saffie 
For my sisters of the 1st Tarleton 
For all my sisters in guiding facing violence.

#StopTheViolence
#WAGGGS
#WorldBadgeForSaffie
#TenMillionSisters

Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Exams and stuff

So here we are, its that time for the year where we are all beginning to stress out over exams, and I say that as someone that stressed to the max about what I needed to do, what I needed to know, and of course as someone who has managed to get through 4 years at MAGS – not so sure about the fifth one though.

So here is what I have learnt:

1.     Study always – you don’t need to be constantly reading over notes to be studying, at lunch time talk to your friends about what you have just learnt about, your classmates may be able to give you a new perspective on what you have just learnt.
2.     Do no be afraid – there is no shame in going to homework clubs, to sit in classes/ hallways at lunch. Most of all THERE IS NO SHAME IN ASKING TEACHERS FOR HELP. This is something I cannot stress enough, if you are in year 10 and don’t understand something feel free to ask past teachers or your friends teacher, sometimes a different voice is what you need.
3.     Small steps are better than no steps – if you have memorised one quote today or one definition or one concept, you have done a whole world better than someone who has done nothing. Don’t overwhelm yourself.
4.     Take it with a grain of salt. All of your teacher will say that their subject is the best, but you really need to hone in on subjects you find hard or ones that are coming first. If you have English first, don’t spend 30mins learning how to divide fractions!
5.     Take your class time seriously, make sure that you are taking good quality notes and having debriefs at the end of the day or even at lunch with your friends.

On the day of the exam.
1.     Get enough sleep.
2.     Eat well. For cheese sake, please do not skip breakfast the day of your exam. Do not have a heavy dinner the night before and HAVE A WATER BOTTLE.
3.     Have flash cards or small notes to trigger your brain. Memorising a whole essay is just not realistic.

Below are some links to websites that really help.



Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favour,

Hannah 
Yr 13